Mom vs. Step-mom

My step-mom is no slouch. Alas, my biological mom is smarter. Nonetheless, mom is comfortable and believes in "systems" - government systems, corporate systems, etc. Step-mom is an entrepreneur.

I give mom ideas that step-mom would run with, while mom thinks if you have a high enough credential and credible experience, you're right for the job.

I'm probably not quite as smart as mom, but step-mom has the edge in that I know she would take some of my bright ideas and consider them seriously.

If only I had mom's skills.

How to Deal with a Loved-one in Trauma

trauma meaning - after a near-death experience (convalescing, in hospital, etc.)





Tier One
Help them. This might not be how you're thinking, but how they're thinking. Or, neither of you may know the answer, and you need outside advice. Some of us have natural intuitions and don't need much outside advice, except in knowing themselves and acknowledging their talents.

Tier Two
You don't really have to 'do' anything, but be a friend. Be normal. Talk and listen to them.

Tier Three
Be an agreeable acquaintance. You can share space, see each other, but interaction is not so important.

Tier Four
Leave them alone.

Anything outside of this hierarchy - coercion, dishonesty, nonsense (saying things that you can't back up or are illogical), antagonism (including arguments) is enemy territory. They're not like normal people. When they need to heal, anything other than peace isn't an option.

Got the Blues?

Non-pharmaceutical means of overcoming depression (via a PhD-wielding man with a radio show):

1) Keep a mood journal to discover patterns and learn what triggers your moods.

2) Go on a walk. (3x a week)

3) Do work after exercising. This is for light/sitting work. Obviously labor requires energy, though some people do both effectively.

4) Try to accomplish something daily. A small something will do. With a productivity habit, you can learn to take it progressively farther. Break a big job up into tasks, and consider each step a triumph.

5) Avoid exaggeration, over-generalization.

6) Exercise / Meditate

The ACLU and Less Truthiness

I go by the general premise that the average American doesn't know the difference between the ACLU and the NAACP. I could be wrong. I hope so. I had an "ACLU" folder on my computer in a sub-folder called something like "Left-side Politics".

Then I'm reminded of who've they've defended:

Radical Churches (including fundamentalist Christians)
Oliver North
The National Socialist Party (neo-nazi's)
NAMBLA,

and lest we forget the perpetual defense of anyone claiming to be libertarian.

(a small oops on my part)

same point, but funnier

How to Fix the Abortion Debate

It's the language. One side has been winning the tug-of-war based on language. As we know, what they propose is not "Pro-Life", but rather-

Forced Pregnancy / Mandatory Procreation

Never say "Pro-Choice" again, and the knot will move the other direction. You can already hear the counter-arguments, true, but those are much easier to counter. Then offer them education, contraception, and a cup of tea.

National Organization for Women

Sourcing Disgust(ing Behavior)

Wondering where disgusting behavior comes from (usually meaning a lack of civility and/or penchant for misdirected linguistic abuse, but also general grossness, like someone snorting snot at you during lap swim when they know you're there), I came up with this typology:

Sources of Disgusting Behavior

a) Nature - i.e., Some people are just disgusting and it's too unnatural for them to change.

b) Environmental Reflection - The world gives hell, and some people insist on reflecting it back without restraint for their own catharsis or lack of a 'filtery' or 'spongey' quality.

c) Psychological Warfare - This is pretty common. Get someone's head down for sadistic kicks or a dominant position.

Lest this list not appear exhaustive, art, for instance, or humor, can fit partially into multiple categories.


a resource for the next witnessing, like once I step outside.

Porn and a Workable Alternative

Nuclear proliferation is suicide. It's not just the weapons, but energy production, as they're not exclusive of one another. Alas, I tend to support nuclear energy because, here in the U.S. at least, the alternative isn't realizable in the sense that I could imagine it being that way, with the others involved. And I couldn't imagine wanting to put up with the alternative (supposing I had a choice).

So I'm with the peace-niks and environmentalists in spirit (and in some ways more), but their persistent lack of a plan grounded in what is realizable, their dogmatic ideas emphasizing both a rejection of the status quo and a baseless vision of the future makes me think, 'Yeah, let's expand capacity at a few of the existing plants and consider options for a few more standardized ones.' (like the French)

Alas, this isn't about nukes.

I'm reading an old letter from a woman I used to know. She categorically rejected porn. As I was and am ambivalent (like I am about nukes), I mostly listened. I'm not sure her argument had a core, because for some reason I think I would have remembered.

She's had a big influence on me. I paid (and pay) attention to her thoughts and feelings.

When I do feel like countering her, I come to this same place:

Porn is pretty damn honest

...more so than prostitution even. How many women know of their partners' visits to prostitutes?

But I wasn't even going that far. I was thinking about normal hetero- dating and marriage. The deceit and betrayal and covert histories and intentions and exchanges couldn't be overemphasized. But most of our (species') porn is pretty damn honest.

Like for the peaceniks and environmentalists, I would have liked to hear her alternative.